Here’s something else from the archives of the computer, in a folder I don’t often go to. Something of a word dump to get things out of my brain at the time. Usually I’m a stickler for structured poems rather than disjointed images, but those disjointed images slapping you in the face is how emotions happen. This isn’t an attempt to work through something, but a snapshot of something; just an expression in all its rawness. This is jealousy, and “The Ghosts of Who I Want to Be”.
The Ghosts of Who I Want to Be
I feel the ghosts of who I want to be scratching at the back of my eyes,
and my every mistake drifts sidewise through me.
The guilt sits pregnant on my gag reflex, and I’d spill my guts before I swallow another missed opportunity.
My skin pricks in ways only extinct passions create, and I imagine succubi with younger lovers now,
Basking in jealousy that takes me half way to an orgasm of discomfort.
Welcome draughts wander in to whisper bittersweet nothings,
And convince me I’m less alone than I need to be.
My jaw aches from biting my tongue, and I drift off to dreams where I can pretend I was biting hers…